When it comes to having orgasms quickly, no one here is advocating for women to put a stopwatch next to the bed. In fact, many women–nearly one out of three–have trouble reaching orgasm when having sex with a partner. There are multiple factors at play here, not the least of which being it takes the average man a mere three to five minutes to orgasm, while most women need at least 20. So just as she’s getting warmed up, he blows his load and leaves her in a pleasure lurch.

This disparity has created a frustrating average: women orgasm 62.9% of the time from intercourse with familiar partners, while men orgasm 85.1% of the time. But what if we could close that gap? What if women could master their below-the-belt domain and learn how to orgasm whenever they wanted to… and in as little as 60 seconds or less?

So, in order to make a couple play reach a win-win end, as well as being a good partner, here are some tips for you to give her a orgasm quicker.

Tips One–Do put your time on kissing

Studies by Lafayette College in the US found that kissing reduces levels of the stress hormone cortisol, quickening the time it takes to turn you both on. As you pay lip service, tilt your head to the right-scientists in Germany found this makes you seem more caring, flooding her system with the connection chemical Oxycontin, building trust and encouraging her to come quickly.

Don’t just kiss her mouth, though. Slide off the lips to her neck occasionally so that her neck doesn’t become desensitized. Each time you kiss her neck, remove another item of her clothes and remember to compliment your partner on each part of her body as you undress it. That will dramatically reduce her self-consciousness.

Tips Two–Tease her for an up-level pleasure

Don’t be rushed to get her naked, at least keep her underwear on for another minute or so. Focus on building anticipation rather than going straight for direct stimulation. Move your finger to alerts her senses, move it slowly, circular motions just inside her vagina. “Many women need attention focused on the outer third of the vaginal canal, where the G-spot, the clitoris, and the PS-spot (opposite the G-spot) can be reached,” says Emma Taylor.

Tips Three–The magic of edging

Edging is the term used for a very specific type of solo sex. It requires you to bring yourself to the point of orgasm and then, just, stop. I know, it sounds hard because when you get to that point it can feel impossible not to let yourself go. But trust us, it’s totally worth the self-control.

When you find that her breathing becomes sharper, the movements more mechanical and that all their attention is focused on the genitals, it’s important to stop all activity at this point. Just let your body rest for a minute or two, until it returns to a more normal state. Repeat this process for three or four times, then you will get a longer and much more beautiful orgasm.

Tips Four–Get the right tools for the job

To get things off to a strong start, you need two things: a high-quality lube, and a right toy which understands you and your partner best.

The clitoris is undoubtedly going to steal the spotlight for this exercise, as the sensory epicenter is your main line to orgasm — so you’d be wise to get good and acquainted with it. The nub sticking out at the top of your vulva is the head of your clit; while the G-spot (about an inch and a half inside your vagina, toward your belly button) is the back. Focus on both and you’re well on your way.

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